Mothers are constantly exposed to the idea that we need to treasure every moment with our little ones before they fly the coop and we’re left redundant. “Enjoy them while they’re young Mama, it all goes by so fast.” Sound familiar? I’m certain that we’ve all been told that!
There’s an inherent guilt in that message. If you don’t appreciate them enough, then you’re a bad mum.
Look, mothering is hard work. Sometimes it actually completely sucks.
Sometimes your children will act like complete and utter asshats, you’ll be running on about 25 minutes of sleep and you wont be able remember the last time that you went for a wee uninterrupted and unobserved.
Your teeth will feel furry and, although you’re pretty sure your knickers are clean, your mismatched socks and the same bra you’ve been wearing for the past five days could definitely do with a wash, although in order to get them into the washing machine, you’ll first have to do battle with a week’s worth of child-soiled sundries and a towel that smells suspiciously like yoghurt.
You’ll be too scared to turn on the oven because its been months since it was last cleaned and the film on the bottom has started to smoke every time it heats up.
Intimacy with your husband will be a cobweb-hung memory and if you’re honest, you’d rather it would stay that way.
You’ll find yourself declaring with enthusiasm to your husband “look darling, there’s a train”, and you’ll feel slightly offended that he doesn’t respond with the same vigour as your three year old.
Sometimes you’ll find yourself saying to your toddler (in that sing-song story telling voice that we all use) “Mama would rather stick nails in her eyes than watch Max and Ruby one more time darling.” And you’ll mean that more fervently than you’ve ever meant anything in your life.
Sometimes your children will turn into tiny Chuckys and chase their screaming Mama around the living room with a tiny rodent corpse in a mousetrap. (Don’t ask)
And sometimes, you’ll run an entire fantasy in your head of murdering the mailman with a bottle brush the next time he bangs loudly on your door and wakes the grumpy 6 month old who has taken 2 hours to rock to sleep and only dozed off 10 minutes ago. You’ll picture yourself in solitary confinement in a maximum security prison…and it will seem like heaven.
These aren’t moments to cherish. You’re not a bad mum on the days that your children are driving you crazy when you imagine exchanging them for a case of cheap Pinot Noir at your local supermarket, although if you actually attempt to go through with it we may have to revisit this conversation.
Sometimes being a mum truly sucks. You don’t have to treasure those moments, you just have to get through them and know that the times to cherish are just around the corner. Wishing away the hard days doesn’t mean that you’re wishing your baby’s childhood away, its just a part of motherhood.
Chin up Mama.good enough is good enough!